The most excellent contribution to a child by his parents is his appropriate upbringing. With numerous theories of good parenting practice, it can be a confusing and daunting task. Unfortunately, most parents find it tough to raise productive and pious children!
To make it simple for parents, I have settled down Islamic parenting to five fundamental principles. If we follow these five principles, then it will assist guide us and make us useful parents raising prolific children.
The Holy Prophet(PBUH) said, “When a man passes away, his action suspends from him excluding three things, namely, eternal charity, or the knowledge by which benefit is acquired, or a righteous child who prays for him.”
This beautiful saying revealed the importance of parenting. It is our foremost duty to make sure they become hard-working, creative and most importantly, God-fearing individuals who will be an asset to humanity.
So our objective and aspire when raising our bloodline should be to make them a benefit for humanity and themselves for the Hereafter. To accomplish this endeavor, here are the five principles that are essential to embedding while we carry out our daily responsibilities of caring for our children:
- Children are Born Pure
- Lead and Guide Your Children
- Bless Your Children With Kindness and Mercy
- Draw the Line For Your Children
- Taught Them To Be Responsible
CHILDREN ARE BORN PURE
Nelson Mandela wrote in his book named, Long Walk To Freedom “No human is born hating another human because of the color of his skin, or his creed, or his belief. People learn to hate, and if they can study to hate, they can be trained to love, for love comes eternally to the human heart.” It is no surprise, children are born pure, sinless, and with a natural disposition for good.
So, it is essential for the parent to put no blame on a child if he does anything wrong until he reaches the age of 10. For no child has any intention of doing bad deeds except that he is only imitating or applying what he has seen, heard, felt, and learned from his surroundings.
Do not spank them, no matter what they did. For children who are spanked, bang or hit are more inclined to fight with other children.
LEAD AND GUIDE YOUR CHILDREN
When children are juvenile, they are still in the progression of learning what is right and what is wrong, and the right way to behave in their surroundings. It is the parents’ foremost duty to teach the child how to do this, how to pick his environment and choose which sort of people to fill that environment with so that they can go on with what is good and pure.
Reflect your true self so they can adopt good and moral habits.
TREAT YOUR CHILDREN WITH KINDNESS AND MERCY
One of the qualities of a great leader is that they care for those whom they are leading and treat them with kindness and mercy. Prophet Muhammad(PBUH)) had this supreme quality. He (PBUH) treated everyone with kindness and mercy even to his enemies. The Holy Prophet(PBUH) deal children with great kindness and mercy and HE even let them climb over HIM during prayers.
So, it is recommended, when your child does disobedience, instead of scolding and blaming, gently hug him and say, ‘I forgive you. Let’s fix it!’ and then, put in plain words his mistake and imply a way to correct it.
DRAW THE LINE FOR YOUR CHILDREN
It is a universal dilemma, without boundaries, civilization would be in disarray as anyone can do anything and disobey others’ human rights.
The same case is with the child. He requires a set of limitations to guide his deeds, which gives the child the freedom to act and behave within them. If he does not limit to the certain boundaries then he probably will be testing you with his behavior to see what is acceptable and what is not.
So parents need to set rules and limits for everyone in the family and take care to explain to your child why he must observe them.
TAUGHT THEM TO BE RESPONSIBLE
It is no secret that each of us is responsible for what is in our concern, so same is the case with the child. Your children need to be taught responsibility.
Being responsible coaches the child to be independent, but also dependable, trustworthy and prolific. This practice makes him realize that he has a position in the family and a responsibility in society. In result, he will develop a sense of belonging and be a constructive member of the family and civilization. In addition, it will give him principle instead of acting up out of distress and uselessness. Last but not least, it also helps to teach children about being responsible for their every deed or action.
There are three major areas which parents need to ensure that they look after when they embark on this great responsibility:
- Physical Security & Development
- Intellectual Security & Development
- Emotional Security & Development